Manners

I've always thought it sounds impolite to say 'please' when asking for something you're not sure the other person can provide. For example: if I'm stranded in town and need a way home, I would want to text my mother "can you pick me up?" without a 'please', because that sounds the most polite to me. Not to her though, or most people - so I text "can you pick me up please" now. 

But to me that feels ridiculous. Imagine the situation she can't pick me up: if I'd left out the 'please' she could just write "no", but now she has to say "no sorry". I'm the one asking for her to do me a favour, yet she's the one apologising? Totally rude. I wish it were more like:

Me: Can you pick me up

Mum: I can

Me: Okay would you please pick me up? 

Mum: Okay yes! Life is awesome I love my super cool daughter with great manners!

As a kid, if you ask for something without the magic word, you'll usually be denied it first time around. Upon correction you'll most likely be granted it. So it makes sense that, when we grow up, we get the idea that good manners make us entitled to something. 

So when someone asks me to do something for them, something they're not sure I can do, or is a big ask; I get a bit annoyed if they use a 'please'. If they hadn't, I could turn it down without looking like the bad guy. But now, the simple fact I can't help them out is suddenly a wrongdoing of mine, and I have to say sorry?

Now listen: I know, logically, that people are just saying it because it's an unspoken rule to be polite and use manners when asking a favour. And I don't actually get mad, because I understand why they're saying it, and if it were a task they knew I could do and would be no bother, I'd want them to say please. But when I ask favours, most of the time I'm wondering if someone can help me out, not if they will.  

I come from a long line of English teachers, so maybe I'm being pedantic. Sorry about that. Or am I? Maybe I am just being polite...